Wednesday, 12 January 2022

“Dwarfs Were One Of The First Races To Play Blood Bowl…”

“…And many Dwarf teams can trace their history to the early years of the game.”

"Howdy Blood Bowl fans, and welcome to an absolutely cram-packed broadcast of Wednesday Night Football. I'm Jim Maddenberg, this is Hall of Famer Thom Grassyglade, and together we’ll be telling you all about the terrific news concerning Blood Bowl Sevens.”

“The big headline of the night is that the Rusty Buckets have signed no less than four more second edition Dwarf Linemen for their amateur roster. Durifol Pebblebelly, Herod Axebrow, Khourdroth Barreldigger and Throfog Anvildelver will each pocket no less than 70,000 copper pieces in wages, and have already started practicing with their new team just prior to the club’s recently announced tour of lowly Sarisbury Green.”

"Dwarfs tend to use a running game, grinding their opponents into the ground..."

“Absolutely, Jim. Each of the 28mm scale second-hand metal miniatures were initially (re)primed with a couple of coats of “Vallejo” Heavy Sienna, so as to cover the models’ previous yellow and blue colour scheme. The players were then dry-brushed with “Vallejo” Gunmetal, before being treated to a combination of “Citadel” Agrax Earthshade and "The Army Painter" Strong Tone Quickshade.”

“Following on from this, the Dwarves’ shoes, sleeves and belts were layered with “Citadel” Abaddon Black, before their trousers and tunics received a coat of “Vallejo” Heavy Sienna and (more) “Citadel” Agrax Earthshade. Lastly, with one notable exception, the Linemen’s gloves were subsequently coated with “Vallejo” Heavy Brown, before being shaded in (even more) “Citadel” Agrax Earthshade.”

"...As they go and working on the principle of high casualty rates opening up the field."

“And, as with all this astonishing quartet’s fellow players, I understand a dash or two of "Mig Productions" Extreme Rust Wash were also used on the figures’ spiked knee-caps, elbow-pads, and shoulder-pads, Thom..? These areas were later given a delicate dry-brush of “Vallejo” Gunmetal to add some additional highlights to the aged metal.”

“Guilty as charged, Jim. But let us not forget that despite the Rusty Buckets now having a roster large enough to populate the smaller-sized Sevens pitch, there is still a strong rumour that the side’s owner still has coin enough for a Blitzer, should such a tough, grizzled dwarf become available. Such a move would doubtless ensure one of this club’s Linemen would regrettably start their outing’s opening match on the bench. However, they’d still only be just one team-mate’s excruciating wound away from participating in the game.”

"And as we both know so well, Thom, Blood Bowl is just the sort of sport to produce a life-changing injury every time the ball is thrown. Sadly though, that brings this particular Blood Bowl Sevens programme to an end. But please do join us next time when we'll hopefully be following the Rusty Buckets on the road and giving their first few games running the pig’s bladder plenty of coverage…"

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