"Eyes On The Pies!"

"Wipe those greasy little fingers on your trousers..." 

"Greetings sports fans. I'm Jim Maddenberg, and welcome to another Mid-Week Football special. This time round we'll be taking a look at the latest club to put their name in the hat for the upcoming season, the Greenfield Grasshuggers, as well as catching up on all the news from the Doom Lords locker room too. But first my fellow presenter, Thom Grassyglade, has a tasty treat for you... Eh? Is that a pastry of some kind, Thom..!?!"

"Right you are Jim. This pastie was freshly baked by Bartweed Crumbleberry's missus just an hour ago, and is almost certain to end the Halfing's opening match inside one of their portly player's bellies rather than in their opponent's score zone. Indeed, it smells so good I'm not sure Head Coach Drago Foodcraver is going to be able to keep his hands off of his own team's game-ball before the starting whistle has even blown."

"Blood Bowl" WIPs - A Catcher, a Hopeful and a Halfling Hefty

"One of three plastic well-baked balls found within The Greenfield Grasshuggers boxed set, the tatty oggy was super-glued onto a 25mm circular base and primed using "Vallejo" Heavy Brown. It was then shaded using a little Strong Tone Quickshade by "The Army Painter" and dry-brushed with more "Vallejo" Heavy Brown."

"Fascinating stuff, Thom, and with such match benefits it's easy to see just how club owner Ricard Whalloper II has already announced the imminent signing of his side's first three players... Lumpin Hoop, Ernald Spiritburner and Jingo Merrychap. What more can you tell us about these Halfling Hopefuls, Thom?"

The Doom Lords WIPs - A Chosen Blocker and Beastman Runner

"Well its early days for the Landlord of the Tumble Down Dick's Coaching Inn yet, Jim, with all three participants still needing a considerable amount of work before they'll be match ready. For now however, there's the promise of a well-stocked food hamper for any halfling who survives a game, plus the rumour of a Treeman having been sighted at the Greenfield training ground..."

"Thanks Thom, that certainly sounds like some marvellous nosh will be on the table whenever the six-time Thimble Cup Winners take to the pitch. But before we wrap up there's just enough time to confirm that Harry the Idolator has stated that he still intends to bring at least one more Beastman Runner and a third Chosen Blocker to the Doom Lords within the next few days. Hopefully we'll be able to cover this story in further detail in our next broadcast."

"Others Are Outcast Humans Swollen Beyond Recognition By Chaos..."

"...Into barbaric mountains of flesh and sinew."

"Bienvenue Blood Bowl buffs, and welcome to another broadcast of Monday Night Football. I'm your host Jim Maddenberg, and along with pundit Thom Grassyglade I'll be bringing you all the hot news, gossip and chaotic mutations currently erupting from out of the league. First up, is Harry the Idolator's recent announcement that the Doom Lords have purchased their second Chosen Blocker, Dave The Merciless. Thom, what do we know about this latest addition to a club who reportedly have the best cheerleading squad in the NAF?"

"Well for starters, Jim, this 28mm scale mass of muscle was super-glued together using hard-plastic pieces taken from inside The Doom Lords boxed set, and primed using "Vallejo" Heavy Skintone. The rookie then had his heavy boots, belt and straps 'picked out' using a combination of Heavy Sienna and "The Army Painter" Strong Tone Quickshade, whilst his leg armour, helmet and left shoulder-pad were pigmented with some "Vallejo" Heavy Red and "Citadel" Carroburg Crimson."

Chosen Blocker & Beastmen Runner WIPs - The models are slowly having their fine detail 'picked out'

"Dave's groin guard and wrist armour were treated to a layer of "Vallejo" Heavy Sienna, and later painted in Brass before being shaded with (more) Strong Tone Quickshade by "The Army Painter". The player's gloves and right shoulder-pad were treated to a coat of "Vallejo" Black, and his helmet blade, along with a few metal clips, were all given a lick of "Citadel" Ironbreaker and a wash of Nuln Oil. Lastly, this mightily merciless warrior had his fingers, arms, legs, chest and throat painted with "Vallejo" Heavy Skintone, and then shaded with "Citadel" Reikland Fleshshade."

"Wow! If that doesn't terrify the opposition then I don't know what will, Thom. 100,000 gold pieces clearly well spent, and this Chosen Blocker isn't the only defensive line news coming out of The Overfiend of the Lead Citadel's club either. As I understand the team are expecting at least one more similarly-sized player to join their roster real soon, along with a few Beastman Runners for good measure?"

Nurgle Rotters WIP - The Bloater has been assembled, based and primed

"You're spot on, Jim, and such rumours are bound to be in response to the news of Papa Nurgle's favourites apparently taking to the pitch in the near future. Details are admittedly rather sketchy as anyone getting too close to the Nurgle Rotters' stadium have all died of the plague, but it looks certain that Grandfather is at least readying a fat-bellied Bloater for his team." 

"Ugh, that pile of puss makes you feel like you're going to break out in boils just by looking at him. What a disgusting sight he'll make on the pitch with his gangrenous entrails spilling out over any opposing player foolish enough to come between him and the ball... And with that charming thought, we'll be leaving you until next time when we'll doubtless be having an even closer look at the rancid mutations the Dark Gods can offer the truly ambitious Blood Bowl player."

"These Terrible Creatures Are Half-Beast And Half-Man..."

"...The twisted descendants of people and animals, who have been mutated by the power of the Chaos gods..."

"Salutations fellow sports fans. This is Jim Maddenberg, and congratulations on tuning in to this Mid-Week Football special. With the season's opening match getting ever closer, let's see what news Thom Grassyglade has heard coming from out of the dressing room of the Doom Lords... Thom?

"Thank you, Jim. Well just a few hours ago, club head coach Harry the Idolator announced he had signed his team's first Beastman Runner, Darkhide Doubledown. Well known for his skill with his horns, the 28mm miniature by "Games Workshop" was assembled using some of the hard-plastic pieces found inside The Doom Lords boxed set and undercoated with a couple of layers of "Vallejo" Heavy Brown."

Chosen Blocker WIPs - The models are slowly having all their details 'picked out'

"The Cloven One's fur was painted using "Vallejo" Charred Brown, whilst his leather belt and straps were 'picked out' using Heavy Sienna. All of these areas, alongside the mutant humanoid's flesh, were then generously washed with "The Army Painter" Strong Tone Quickshade. The Beastman's knee-pad, elbow-pad and head plate were pigmented via a double-coat of "Vallejo" Heavy Red and subsequent shade of "Citadel" Nuln Oil."

"I understand that owner, The Overfiend of the Lead Citadel, also insisted the Child of Chaos had his torn pants, fingerless gloves and right shoulder-pad painted "Vallejo" Black, Thom? And the Runner's left forearm armour treated to a combination of "Vallejo" Brass and (more) Strong Tone Quickshade by "The Army Painter"..."

Beastmen Runner WIPs - The models are being painted using a variety of browns for their belts, fur and straps

"That's right, Jim. The Doom Lord's mysterious benefactor was very keen to ensure the Red and Black will be wearing a unified colour scheme when on the pitch. But don't forget this player's horned head was given a lick of "Vallejo" Heavy Bluegrey, followed by a significant splash of "Citadel" Nuln Oil."

"That's great, Thom, and I'm sure those viewers who remember this team's victory in the 2487 Orcidas Cup will be delighted to know that Harry looks set to announce the arrival of three more Beastmen, as well as an additional pair of Chaos Chosen Blockers over the next few weeks. Plenty to look forward to there then in our next programme, so until then, don't forget to get some Shaman's cream for that itchy arm unless you want to be blessed with a huge crab-like claw..."

(Lead) Mountain Musings - Dungeon Saga'Tember 2018

"Dungeon Saga" WIPs - Early days for a pair of Skeleton Warriors and Rordin the Dwarf

This month's randomly themed attempt to try and reduce my overwhelming collection of metal, plastic and resin miniatures has been rather waylaid by Dick Garrison's recent announcement, over on his brilliant blog "Rantings From Under The Wargames Table", that he'll be spending the next few weeks hosting a "Dungeon Saga" Challenge where fellow wargamers should try "to complete as many of the figures from the board game... as possible." Having rather embarrassingly owned "the classic dungeon crawler of swords and sorcery" since its successful "Kickstarter" in October 2015, yet never even taken it out of its cellophane wrapping, I thought now might be the time to give the rule-set a go, whilst simultaneously applying a lick of paint to some of its models.

As a result I've decided to firmly focus my attention upon all six of the figures required to play the game's opening adventure "Journey From The West", and see how far that takes me. Only Orlaf the Barbarian and Rordin the Dwarf are used in this particular adventure, plus four Skeleton Warriors, so I have added the large double doorway which stands between the heroes and their prize into the mix as well.

Hong Kong Killer Robots WIPs - The automatons have been primed with "Vallejo" Heavy Green

Initially preparing the miniatures for painting seemed refreshingly easy, as all of the models already come attached to their slab-stone square bases in the box. But having scrutinised my ensemble it quickly became clear that a few of the plastic skeletons required both a little straightening and better fixing to their bases. I therefore spent a little time re-positioning some of the Undead on their stands and gluing a small smattering of grit around these new joins.

Ordinarily this would make for some odd-looking dungeon denizens but as I plan to paint the bases in the same brown-tan palette I use for the vast majority of my figures, I wasn't too bothered. In addition, "Mantic Games" also produce the "mass combat fantasy" game "Kings Of War" too, and repeatedly suggest that miniatures from both rule-sets are potentially compatible with one another.

Beastmen Runner & Chosen Blocker WIPs - The models are almost finished

Despite this potentially sizeable project ahead, I have continued building more Hong Kong Killer Fembots by "Statuesque Miniatures" for my "Ghost In The Shell"/"Terminator" mash-up. However, rather than simply paint them all using one overall colour-scheme, I have decided to go with a green-gold palette for these three particular automatons; potentially indicating they have different skills or role from their robotic kin.

Finally, I am hoping to 'broadcast' a few more editions of my "Blood Bowl" blog posts "Monday Night Football". Despite some significant hobby-time spent on my Doom Lords team, I've still got eleven more players to finish, so I'm planning on giving this Chaos Chosen club some much-needed attention over the next few weeks as well, and get them 'match-fit' in time for their season opener at the start of October 2018...

"Join Us Then As We Open The Great Book Of Nuffle..."

"...To learn about one of the most violent and entertaining teams of them all... The Chaos Chosen!"

"Greetings sports fans old, young and deceased. I'm Jim Maddenberg, and along with my co-commentator Thom Grassyglade I'd like to welcome you all to another edition of Monday Night Football. This time round we'll be focusing upon the Doom Lords first player purchase of the pre-season, 'Brutal' Frank. Thom, what can you tell the viewers at home about this Chosen Blocker?"

"Well having been assembled from pieces clipped off of one the hard-plastic sprues found inside The Doom Lords boxed set, this 28mm scale miniature by "Games Workshop" was primed using "Vallejo" Heavy Skintone and had his heavy boots, belt and straps 'picked out' using a combination of Heavy Sienna and "The Army Painter" Strong Tone Quickshade. The well-built Chaotic Human then had his leg armour, helmet and left shoulder-pad painted with "Vallejo" Heavy Red and "Citadel" Carroburg Crimson, whilst his groin guard and wrist armour was treated to an undercoat of "Vallejo" Heavy Sienna before being layered in Brass and shaded with (more) Strong Tone Quickshade by "The Army Painter".

Chosen Blocker WIPs - The model is slowly having all his armour and straps 'picked out'

"In addition, Frank's gloves and right shoulder-pad were treated to a layer of "Vallejo" Black and later his helmet blade, shoulder-pad blade, alongside a few metal clips, were all pigmented using some "Citadel" Ironbreaker and a wash of Nuln Oil. Finally, this Dark Gods-worshipping maniac had his fingers, arms, legs, chest and throat painted with "Vallejo" Heavy Skintone, and then shaded with "Citadel" Reikland Fleshshade."

"Phew! That's quite a work-out, Thom, especially for a player who cost the team 100,000 gold pieces and comes to the pitch without any discernible skills whatsoever. I guess club owner 'The Overfiend of the Lead Citadel' knows what he's doing though, otherwise he'd have never convinced Harry the Idolator to leave his previous coaching position with Khaine's Killers."

Beastmen Runner WIPs - The models will be painted using a variety of browns for their skin, fur and straps

"Too right, Jim, and don't forget Frank won't be the only Chosen Blocker protecting The Doom Lords goal zone whilst under the gaze of their dark patrons. The 'Red and Black' are actively seeking to field at least three more similar-sized Humans, along with a veritable herd of horn-headed Beastmen."

"Indeed, Thom, and rumours from inside the dressing room would suggest that Harry should soon be delivering a press conference announcing the names of some of these latest rookie recruits. Until then however, that's all we've got time for during our transmission, so until next time, don't let your demonic possession get too out of hand..."

"Welcome To The World Of Blood Bowl..."

"...Where as the coach of your team, you'll be seeking to defeat your rivals..."

"Greetings sports fans, and welcome to another edition of Monday Night Football. Jim Maddenberg here with all the pre-season news as a second team has raised its head above the severed head laden parapet and looks set to challenge the Doom Lords for fame, fortune and the adulation of this great sport's fans. Thom?"

"That's right, Jim, we're still a long way before the first match of the season starts, yet the head coach of the Reikland Reavers, Helmut Zwimmer, has set his human followers' tongues a wagging by releasing a picture of his club's game ball. One of four similarly-shaped pieces taken from the bright blue-coloured plastic sprue found inside the "Blood Bowl" starter set, this spiked ball was super-glued upon a 25mm circular base and primed using "Vallejo" Black."

Human Blitzer WIP - The player has been assembled, based and primed "Vallejo" Heavy Blue

"Reports then suggest it was painted using a combination of "Vallejo" Heavy Sienna and "The Army Painter" Strong Tone Quickshade." The ball's metallic areas were subsequently 'picked out' using some "Citadel" Ironbreaker and Nuln Oil, whilst its laces were layered with "Vallejo" Heavy Brown before being washed with (more) "The Army Painter" Strong Tone Quickshade."

"And I understand coach Zwimmer hasn't stopped there either, Thom, by announcing that owner J.J. Griswell Junior has already purchased the Reavers' first new player of the year, none other than a Blitzer. We've heard previously that the Doom Lords' Chosen Blockers and Beastmen consisted of seven-eight piece multi-part kits, is this the case with the human team?

Chosen Blocker WIPs - The Dark God Worshipper is slowly having his armour 'picked out'

"No, Jim. Arguably the most flexible player on a human team, the Blitzer has been designed to essentially be a simple three-piece 'push-fit' model, which can quickly take to the field once its slotta stand has been firmly attached to its 30mm circular base. The figure even comes in the iconic blue used by the Reavers, so it doesn't necessarily even need painting..."

"And finally, I understand that the Doom Lords have made considerable progress preparing the first of their Chosen Blockers to get on the pitch. Something of a pilot palette piece this formidable-looking Dark God worshipper will take to the field wearing "Vallejo" Black cloth undergarments with Heavy Red and Brass armour."

"Well that about wraps it up for this show, folks. A big thanks to fellow co-commentator Thom Grassyglade, and next time we'll hopefully see more from both the Doom Lords and Reikland Reavers."

"A Combination Of Strategy, Tactics, And Absolute Mindless Violence..."

"...Blood Bowl is the classic game of fantasy football."

"Hello sports fans, and welcome to the inaugural edition of Monday Night Football. I'm Jim Maddenberg and despite the start of the season still being a couple of months away, coaches are already pulling their teams together in the hope of playing a few preseason games."

"One such club is the Doom Lords, a Chaos Chosen "Blood Bowl" team produced by "Games Workshop" and owned by a mysterious being commonly referred as ‘The Overfiend’. My fellow co-commentator, Thom Grassyglade has more. Thom..?"

Chosen Blocker & Beastman Runner WIPs - The models have been assembled and primed

"Well one thing's for sure, Jim, this Dark Gods-worshipping side will at least have a ball to play with during the club's opening match. One of six plastic Chaos team balls found within The Doom Lords boxed set, the skull ball was super-glued upon a 25mm circular base and primed using "Vallejo" Black."

"It was then treated to a combination of "Citadel" Ironbreaker and Nuln Oil, before any visible leather was 'picked out' with "Vallejo" Heavy Sienna. These areas were subsequently washed with some "The Army Painter" Strong Tone Quickshade."

Beastman Runner WIPs - The players come with an assortment of horned heads

"Great update, Thom, and I see one of Blood Bowl’s most dangerous teams have also released some early pictures of some of the players they'll be hoping to trial in the weeks to come. Boy, those Chosen Blockers look a formidable sight. I bet they came in quite a few pieces prior to assembly?"

"Indeed they did, Jim. Both Blockers are seven-eight piece multi-part kits, and can be built with alternative heads too. To be honest though, the first of the Doom Lords' eight Beastman Runners are just as complicated to construct, as the ferocious Cloven Ones come with a choice of six different pairs of horns."

"Thanks Thom, that wrap's up this show, but please join us again next time when we'll be taking a closer look at some of this team's players..."